You can look at these jobs in two batches or groups. Those Maid of Honor duties carried out before the wedding and those performed on the day. Read more here.

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This delightful tale involves a twenty six year old lady called Kiona Baez who is due to marry her sweetheart Lincoln Heath. As Kiona had been very close to her gran, Candita Siconolfi, literally from birth, she felt it was the obvious thing to do. At 85 years young, Candita (Candy to her friends) must be one of the more experienced Maids of Honor.

What a lovely story. Good luck on September 17th Candy. With twenty six year’s worth of stories to draw on I’ll bet you make a great Maid Of Honor Speech.

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Well one lady either has not read this blog or did not take any notice.

In Portland, Maine, local news agencies report a twenty five year old girl was arrested for being drunk and disorderly. She will appear in court sometime in August. Nothing too unusual with this is there?

The problem was that she was the Maid Of Honor and was taken away by police from the wedding reception!

Now, I’m not going to get into the rights and wrongs of this as apparently, she had refused treatment by paramedics to an injury she sustained whilst drunk. The point is that it must have been soul destroying for the Bridal couple to have police arrive and cart off the maid Of Honor. Still, I bet the wedding DVD will be in huge demand   So, if you are going to drink, just think of the effect on others. Please?

My first attempt at making maid of honor speeches was a disaster. I vowed that it would never happen again (assuming anyone would ever ask me again!).

My advice is CHEAT! Don’t expect to be an instant expert.

I started reading books as I could about wedding speeches (and obviouslyMaid of honor speeches books) . To be perfectly honest, I also bought loads of  books  about  speech making techniques in general (and did everything they told me to!).

When it comes to your maid of honor speech, here’s the most important tip I can give you.

Don’t Leave Your Maid Of Honor Speech Until The Last Minute.

1/ Do not leave it until the last minute to decide what to say in your maid of honor speech. My first matron of honor speech was a … well it wasn’t brilliant!  The second was a hundred times better (because I had a plan).

You need to get it right well beforehand and then practice, practice, practice! You do not want to clam up (let’s face it, it’s an emotional day so the last thing you want to do is “choke” when your moment arrives).

Remember… messing up your best friend or sister’s wedding  is going to be far worse than messing up your own. Could you ever look them in the face again?

2/ Be aware of how your matron of honor toasts fits in with the rest of the speeches. You will be following the best man (who may well have just brought the house down). if he has then how are you going to follow that.

The obvious temptation is to try and “outwit” them. You have to resist this, particularly if you are your sisters matron of honor. You will know so much embarrassing stuff that you could easily overstep the mark.

3/ Don’t make your maid of honor speech too long. There are umpteen speeches to get through. You don’t want to bore them to death!

Have a look at these  maid of honor speech ideas booksfor some decent ideas

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Here is a super short Maid of Honor Speech taken from a book called “Speeches and Toasts For All Occasions”. Unfortunately, it’s the only matron of honor one in there. That is why I think you should take a look at this collection of maid of honor speeches. So here goes…

“Ladies and Gentleman – I have a happy duty to perform on this happy occasion. I am going to ask you all to drink to the health of the Bride and Groom. It is an especially happy task because I can perform it with such confidence. Both of them look the picture of health and their happiness is beyond concealment.

Marriage has sometimes been called a lottery but I am sure there is no gamble about this match.Both the bride and groom took a peak in advance at the winning numbers before they chose their tickets. Of course, I could have told the groom that he had found a winner right from the start, for I have known the bride since she was a sweet and lovable child. I’ve watched her become more sweeter and lovable as she grew up.

The groom wisely, did not ask my opinion and nor did the bride. I hope they will forgive me if I give it now and say that if ever a marriage was made in heaven, this is it.

No-one ever forgets his wedding day and the young couple will look back on this day with sweet memories as the years pass. I doubt if their memories will include my speech, so I will detain you no further.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask you to drink to the health and happiness of the bride and groom”

Short, sweet and straight to the point. A great maid of honor speech.

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“I’ve got to make a Maid Of Honor Speech and I hate the groom. He’s a jerk. What should I say?”

Well my first instinct was to come up with some witty put downs for the groom but then luckily, I started to think. Then it got scary. So here goes…

Ask yourself  WHY you do not like him.

Are you jealous of her, or maybe of them as a couple?

Do you know something about him that your friend or sister (the bride) does not? Is he a bad or dangerous person (history of violence etc). Has he had affairs during their relationship? Has he had an affair with someone she knows (please say it wasn’t you!)?

If it is not any of these, then maybe you have picked up on some  doubts that the bride has (that she is afraid to admit, confront or own up to). She may harbour serious doubts about the marriage but be scared to do anything because arrangements are at an advanced stage.

You may have stumbled on something that needs to be addressed.  Maybe they have different reasons for wanting to get married (“it was the next step” or “all of our friends’ were getting married” etc). Perhaps they have different expectations of what the marriage will be. Maybe he has some doubts that need to be addressed?

Whatever it is, it needs attention now, not at the wedding. Making your feelings known during the wedding speeches is too late, pointless and will lead to trouble. You may fall out with the bride just when she needs you most.

Just remember, if you are making the maid of honor speech, then they are already married and it will be too late. Maybe, just maybe however …he IS just a jerk, period.

This did not turn out as I thought it would but please let me know what you think (no spam or backlink only comments. It takes me ages to delete them).

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So what goes in to great funny maid of honor speeches? After messing up my first Maid of Honor speech, I vowed to do the next one much better(if anyone would have me). The more examples I saw (and read), it seemed like the best had a good mixture of humor, honesty and emotion. None of those wedding speeches were boring, so I wanted mine to be entertaining too.

The best funny maid of honour speecheswere those that had humorus moments thrown in with the “serious wedding stuff. I guess a really funny matron of honor speech is a bit like a well written song… with peaks and troughs, verses and choruses. The funny bits have more impact when used in moderation.

Funny maid of Honor speeches should not be offensive.

Choose your humor to suit the audience. Something that has you in hysterics on a drunken “girlie” night out could be a disaster as a maid of honor speech. Think twice before you bring up embarrassing incidents. Again, what could be really funny elsewhere could seriously derail a wedding reception speech. Delivery is also a big factor. You may not be a comic genius but whatever you do, you’ll do it a lot better sober ( see Maid of Honor Speeches – Go Easy On The Booze! for examples). There’s plenty of time for drinking after your matron of honor speech.

Funny maid of honor speeches – What are we looking for?

In my case,  here’s the honest answer. Here were the (selfish) goals

1/ Getting a standing ovation.

2/ Not looking a fool.

3/ Not boring the pants off everyone.

4/ Still being best friends with the bride afterwards.

5/ Having the bride and groom fondly remember all the good things.

If you are stuck for ideas, you could take a look at maid of honor speech ideas, which is where I got my big break from. My suggestion, when planning your funny maid of honor speeches, is to do this list in reverse order.

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  Maid of Honor Speeches – Go Easy On The Booze!

Hey girls, this seems so obvious but it still creates mayhem. It’s unfair that the guys seem to get away with it rather than the girls (hey that’s life) but too much alcohol on your part could spell disaster. You want people to remember the maid of honor speeches for the right reasons.

Your friend’s / sisters / cousin’s wedding is always an emotional time. Your maid of honor speech is going to be difficult at the best of times as well as you having to follow others such as the bride and groom and the parents of the bride and groom.

It is so tempting to have a little tipple to “calm your nerves” before your maid of honor speech. Well, there’s a huge difference between calming your nerves and causing a riot! I’ve seen girls swear, insult the bride’s relatives or make themselves look complete and utter fools. It’s a guarranteed way to foul up the wedding (but be remembered by everyone for years to come for all the wrong reasons).

The most embarrassing one I have seen is a “lady” stop halfway through her speech because she could not remember what she was supposed to be saying. Everyone thought something really profound was going to be said but nothing happened.

Maid of honor speeches essentials – always use your notes.

She never thought to look down at her notes. Everyone was too polite to say anything until the Bride’s father decided enough was enough and thanked her for her contribution. It’s funny now but at the time it caused a lot of grief.

So, just be careful how much you have before your maid of honor speeches (including guzzling the champagne meant for the toasts). You can let your hair down (not yourself) later in the day.

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Are you about to make a Maid of Honor speech and forgot your notes? Are you sat in the hotel thinking “how on earth am I going to come up with a matron of honor speech at such short notice?” Well, don’t panic … try this maid of honor speech template.

Try this quick template…

1/ How long you and the bride have been friends

Include a couple of anecdotes to emphasise the bond.

2/ When she met the groom.

Say how you were worried you might lose your friend

3/ How your fears were unfounded… you are still the best friends in the world.

How, despite them being together, you still get to spend precious time with the bride.

4/ How far from losing a friend, you have gained another one (the groom)

5/ Wish everyone well, especially the couple.

6/ Thank them both for being fantastic friends.

7/ Sit down and listen to the applause. Hopefully yours will be the best matron of honor speech that they have heard (and no-one will know your secret).

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